Had an interesting experience today that was both meaningful and profound for me. I needed to confront someone on a matter- someone who is very dear to me- who I dearly love and who unintentionally had made a poor decision leading to tension between us, hard feelings on my part and a bit of ‘guilt’ on hers. These are pretty high on the list of negative emotions which are so common and so dang damaging to the human condition so it wouldn’t server either of us to carry them around. Hence today’s experience.
I decided to Illuminate the situation and FACE it head on. In doing so, I needed to sort of FOLLOW IT, which is to say that I considered where my feelings were coming from, what they were effecting (feeling lousy, hurt, angry) and what her feelings might be (I didnt really know for certain). Then with all of this, I began a conversation with her to FIX IT- which we did.
In order for this to happen, we needed to allow ourselves some space, some vulnerability and be open to outcome.
So, at lunch, I took the opportunity to ‘address the elephant in the middle of the room’ and, with love and respect, spoke my truth.
Guess what happened?
I’ll tell you on the next blog- NOT. Here’s what happened. We each had an opportunity to express our feelings- and it was awesome. As always, the reward far exceeded the risk. I can assure you that this simple event is a huge addition to our solid relationship. With her sincere apology I had no need whatsoever to elephant stomp her to transfer pain or any of that crap that is all too common.
My grandmother once said, and I quoted this in my Psyched On Service book, that “a delicate tea cup that is broken and then mended is now stronger than had it not been broken.”
Our relationship was not broken, but I can assure you that its stronger than ever.
Forgiveness
About the Author: David Corbin
As someone who grew up in the sixties and seventies and attended Woodstock, college protests, volunteered as Director of Community Counseling Center, med evac at concerts and festivals and the like, I still maintain a strong commitment to social change. My venue at this stage of my life is the business community and that’s where I am focusing my energies to making positive change.
My books, keynotes and trainings are all about systems that foster peace of mind and productivity through personal and professional growth and development. They offer models for identifying values and mission and give procedures and processes for bringing them to life- acting in congruence with them at all times.
