“Why Smart People Still Get Misled—and What to Do About It”
David M. Corbin
We live in a world where everyone seems certain.
Experts are certain. Influencers are certain. Contrarians are really certain.
And if you’re like me—thoughtful, curious, maybe even a little skeptical—you’re trying to sort out what’s true and what’s not.
Here’s the problem.
The very instinct that makes you question things…
can also make you vulnerable to believing the wrong things.
That’s not a character flaw.
That’s human psychology.
Which is exactly why my Illuminate Model matters more than ever:
Face it. Follow it. Fix it.
Face It
Let’s start with a little humility.
No matter how smart we are, we all have built-in biases.
One of them is called motivated reasoning.
That simply means we tend to interpret information in a way that supports what we already believe.
So if we start to think,
“Maybe the system is biased…”
We often begin to:
– Question mainstream sources more aggressively
– And give alternative voices more benefit of the doubt
We don’t notice it happening. But it is.
Another one is confirmation bias.
Once we lean in a direction, we start looking for proof that we’re right—and overlooking anything that challenges us.
So step one is simple:
Admit that you—and I—are not immune to being influenced.
Follow It
Recently, I’ve come to learn a contemporary word called ‘hack’. I had always thought ‘hack’ meant someone who does crappy work or one who uses a computer to gain an authorized access to data in a system. However, I’ve come to learn that, in addition to those definitions, it’s also an appropriate application of ingenuity. For example, we go to YouTube videos to find specific “hacks”. I recently searched YouTube for a “hack” on a particular problem I had with my vintage jaguar automobile. I found someone in the Midwest who had the same issue and videotaped the short cut solution … the hack. And viewing this hack saved me a lot of time and money. A short time later, I did the same thing when my washing machine wasn’t working properly. I searched and found the appropriate hack online and easily and quickly applied the solution. I love my hacks- these “appropriate applications of ingenuity” which, through the experience of others, compresses our learning curve and brings us to faster, easier solutions.
Mentoring is a series of hacks…. and more.
However, I believe mentoring is on a higher magnitude than mere ‘hack sharing’ because of the important covenant- the deep commitment the protégé’s development- on both parts.
Mentoring happens at the speed of trust.
Confidentiality and honesty are the substrate of the quality mentoring relationship. Part of that substrate includes clear expectations roles and goals and even the “what ifs” conversation.
Specific tips for mentors, from my experience and my heart include the following:
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- Listen, observe, read, and evaluate what is being shared with you.
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- Know thy self — “to thy known self be true”. Understand your deepest motivation in mentoring in general… and mentoring this person specifically.
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- Evaluate internally what you are willing to do and what you’re unwilling to do in this mentoring relationship. For example how much time you’re willing to share, resources, how direct and confrontational you’re willing to be, how patient, etc.
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- What are your expectations of the protégé?
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- Know that your objective is not to clone yourself but rather to offer yourself, your wisdom, guidance and resources in a way that fortifies your protégé and creates an environment for them to become their best-actualized self.
That is the heart of the Mentoring Mentality.
Never take Mentoring lightly. Ever.
Earlier on I mentioned the importance of clarity of expectations, roles and goals. Much like the Latin phrase “caveat emptor” which means “buyer beware” I found that the correlating value is in the Latin phrase “caveat vendidor” or “seller beware”. I refer to this to this in the context of mentoring because when you engage in a mentoring relationship with a protégé who is not clear on her expectations, responsibilities, and your requirements then you are in for an enormous headache. The wrong mentor/ protégé relationship really sucks. I say that because it can become a sustained form of annoyance, pain and existential angst. So what I’m suggesting is to engage carefully in your mentoring relationships. Each one is unique. Be certain that you are both in sync with your expectations, requirements and have covered as many bases as possible to ensure a mutually fulfilling and beneficial relationship.
I was asked recently on a radio interview how long the mentoring relationship lasts. Having never been asked that question I was forced to take a moment and quickly reflect on some of my most meaningful mentoring relationships and came to realize that they were all rather long – lasting over 5 years and some over 10. I then realized that mentoring never truly ends; that mentoring relationships last for a lifetime in one form or another. Now, does that mean that you make yourself available for an hour or two or five or ten per month? Of course not. However I found that those that I have mentored, would occasionally drop me a line with a question or to share a win or, quite often, to introduce a potential protégé. And I want to point out that in my mentoring world my protégés have often become lifetime friends … at different degrees of friendship: from acquaintance to “chosen family” (I was honored to be ‘best man’ at a couple of protégés weddings!) And, for me, it’s easy to work with the occasional correspondence from my protégés because I am already “logged on” to who they are, what they’re doing and how they do it. So it’s relatively easy for me to help. Don’t get me wrong, I have colleagues who approach it very differently and feel that when they have concluded their mentoring relationship then they no longer are willing to accept future requests for time and counsel. That’s great for them – but I choose to do it differently. If you are becoming a mentor it’s important that you ask yourself where you stand on this issue.
Mentoring is BIG stuff.
So there are a few ideas on “the Mentoring Mentality” from someone who has enriched his life immeasurably by being a mentor and “mentoring mentors”. Is mentoring for every one? Possibly not. There are subject matter experts in all fields who, in my opinion, should never, EVER, become mentors because, while they have the expertise they don’t demonstrate the altruistic heart to serve and support the protégé in that “selfless” mentality of service and love. And while that seems like judgment, and it is, it’s not a condemnation so much as my observation. The mentor is carrying and unpackaging information, knowledge, and associations that (and here comes my ‘woo woo’ side) are “meant for” the protégé. I know… this is getting metaphysical and mystical here and I make no apologies because I firmly believe that the mentor is an active and passive medium who is instrumental in the development and evolution of the human race.
With this mentality the mentor plays a vital role and that together humans will achieve and become so much more.
Namaste.
